The Adventures of Piratejoe (Part 1): The RedPill

My male blood elf Pally, Piratejoe, thinks a lot of himself.  He’s cool and sexy. He can solo dragons. He has good hair. And has practiced his jump in a mirror until it looks cool as a cat’s.

However, Piratejoe has a dark secret, one he hopes he can live down with his new Horde brethren….  You see, Piratejoe started life as a buxom female dwarf named Hollie, holliewith cute dimples and a passion for Dalaran Donuts.    But Hollie felt bored with her dwarf body and the well trodden alliance paths that had been too well explored by her taller and sexier sisters-in-arms, Tinuviel and Bluebear, before her.  She wanted to beat her shield with her axe and scream, “For the Horde!”  She wanted to run errands for her hero, Thrall, instead of that insane lunatic King Whiney.  So one night, when she met a Goblin in the pub, after having one too many Darkmoon fizzy faire drinks, she took up his offer of The RedPill*.    The Goblin said she would wake up, in a couple of hours, a new man!

*RedPill may cause unexpected side effects including (but not limited to) loss of friends, guildmates, argent tournament rankings and titles.  Some achievements maybe lost, affects are non-reversible for 60days. Taking of RedPill is entirely at your own risk.

Two days later (and after the intervention of a god-like being to do important things like pick a name, hair style and tan), Hollie woke up in Silvermoon city, with a differently shaped chest and other anatomical parts, and a new name….Piratejoe.  The Goblin was never seen again.  Her Argent Tournament Squire had run off in horror, to be replaced by a gruntling, who seemed quite unconcerned.  Someone had spray-painted her paladin charger red, and swapped her goats for chicken mounts.  The first things she/he did was run to Orgrimmar and buy some cool wolf mounts instead.  Riding round on a wolf, was much more manly and horde-like than a pink chicken.   Her new body was pretty neat, Piratejoe’s chest didn’t flop up and down as he ran, and as long as he refrained from laughing or /dance he was pretty buff.  Summoning his wolf and gruntling, Hollie/Piratejoe shouted, “For the Horde!” and rode off into a red Durotar sunset to explore his new life!!!

In The Adventures of Piratejoe (Part 2) I will cover the mechanics of the faction change plus some tips and tricks (some of which I did, and others I wish I’d thought of beforehand.)



Comments are closed.